MONEY (1/28/10)
It seemed as if there wasn't much to talk about because my assets were sufficient to enable Andrea to retire, and all we needed to do was be reasonably sensible in managing them -- and to refrain from extravagancy. I now understand that it's rarely so simple.
For a while it seemed that simple. Our beliefs and values regarding money seemed fairly compatible and we did not have many fights. But when in 2008 a serious issue began to emerge we did not have the resources to caringly deal with it. Our estrangement in this area, though in itself it did not tear us apart, was representative of the lack of solidity in our marriage.
The irony is that Andrea had written Bitter Persimmons, a memoir of her early life, in which the virtual absence of a foundation under her childhood house (only the outer walls were supported) figured as a powerful symbol. How could we have replicated such a life?
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As a humanistic sociologist, I understood that my private troubles were connected with public issues and that I had an ethical responsibility to contribute to the transformation of society. In the past, as a dementia advocate, I had contributed by breaking down walls of silence. So it is natural for me to take an interest in the money taboo. In our contemporary "culture of confession" I find its persistence fascinating and challenging. As noted in Offill and Schappell, Money Changes Everything: "We talk freely about whom we've slept with, what we're addicted to, how crazy our families are, and why we take a rainbow of antidepressants. But even in this tell-all age, there is one topic that remains decidedly taboo."
To move America toward social justice and economic democracy we need not only participate in progressive politics but do what we can to demystify money by finding innovative, dignified and constructive ways to communicate about it. Along with Money Changes Everything I recommend Shira Boss, Green with Envy and Spencer Sherman, The Cure for Money Madness.