A MEDITATION (Oct., 2000)
The rain had washed clean the air, and the sky was now filled with fluffy
clouds. Walking along the gravel road I watched three deer, two big ones and
a little one, gracefully climb the sunlit hill and disappear over the top. I
thought about meditation. I remembered how, before Alzheimers, I used to
think about meditation from time to time. Zen buddhism pointed out that the
mind was like a chattering monkey swinging from branch to branch, from
greedy thought to anxious thought. How much quality of experience could
one have with a mind like that? The path of meditation offered to silence the
mind, making it like a still mountain pool reflecting the moonlight. With such
a mind one could savor the ecstasy of Now. That was an interesting idea.
My monkey mind went south three years ago. This would perhaps be a great
advantage for meditation, except that my ability to concentrate has gone as
well. I can no longer hope to cultivate mindfulness until, with lightning
discernment, I can instantly perceive the Illusion at the core of grasping
thoughts and, like a samurai laser swordsman, vaporize them into Emptiness.
In a couple of years Ill be lucky to have enough mindfulness to cook a frozen
dinner in the microwave.
So when I looked at the deer, I thought, Ill never see them any better. But,
strangely, this thought was not depressing. I sensed that images of the silent
mind had ceased to grasp me, and having abandoned hope of the ecstasy of
Now, I understood what the Zen Masters were trying to get at. Zen mind is
Write me: MorrisFF@aol.com